


Hannibal Versus Customer Service

by Miss McKeil (Elsey_Snape)



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Customer Service, Gen, Hannibal Lecter is a Cannibal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27162752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsey_Snape/pseuds/Miss%20McKeil
Summary: Hannibal has to deal with mundane household problems like everyone else. Sometimes, he has no choice but to call in to customer service like a normal person. That doesn't mean he has to like it.
Kudos: 12





	Hannibal Versus Customer Service

If there was something that Hannibal Lecter absolutely loathed, other than a meatless meal, it was dealing with customer service representatives. From anywhere. He loved taking care of his business online. He didn't have to talk to anyone. He didn't have to look at them, smell them, or listen to their annoying voices.

He was annoyed beyond belief that there was no response to his recent email to his power company. He didn't want to call. There would be a long wait and then a marginally competent agent would talk to him condescendingly about some inane aspect of his bill that he didn't even care about. "Why, Mr. Lecter, your usage is awfully high. Did you want us to send you information about how to reduce your usage?"

They asked him every time. He always said no. He knew why his bill was nearly $500 a month. He has industrial freezers and three ovens. Plus, his late night activities in the basement. He just tells them he has a hot tub that he runs all year. 

The reason for his email was simple, there was no reason that it should take a week to have a response. He just wanted to have his breaker box checked because it was making a weird noise. He knew it would be an issue at some point and he wanted it fixed before he lost power and his appliances failed causing his meat to spoil. He worked so hard to obtain it after all. 

Hannibal sighed. His electrician had told him that he couldn't do the work until the power company disconnected the meter. Understandably, the young man did not want to get electrocuted. Hannibal was reasonable enough that he couldn't fault him for that. He would simply have to call and endure the hour long wait to speak to someone who would inevitably transfer him to someone else who would ask him questions that he, for all his education, would not know the answers to because his education did not include electrical engineering, beyond how to install and operate his generator.

So, on a Wednesday morning, schedule freed of patients, during the time he allotted to clerical work, he called the power company. He sat on hold for a few minutes, after fighting with the automated system for ten minutes. The hold music was appalling, and the messages about budget billing and automatic payments redundant. 

He checked the call time on his phone. 11:23. Hannibal sighed. He was shocked when someone came on the line and spoke to him. They were courteous enough. He still asked for their employee number. Just in case. He wasn't even transferred to another person. They took his information, told him what to do and what to tell his electrician. He thanked the young man for his time and ended the call.

He was surprised that the whole ordeal only took him twenty minutes. After a quick call to his electrician, he sat back in his chair and pondered his luck. He had allotted half the morning to this and now he had another hour before he would expect his next patient. 

He pulled out his tablet and rolled his eyes when he saw a reply from the power company. ”Please call customer service to process this request.”

Hannibal resolved to become a computer hacker and find out who sent that email. He was certain they would make a tasty "pork tenderloin." He did so enjoy serving long pig.

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments!


End file.
